Friday, May 23, 2008

Idiots Rising

There are a few items of house cleaning that I need to take care of before we start in on this week’s rant. First, to all my friends, family and anyone loyal to The Rant Shack, I must apologize to you for the few week hiatus that I took but I have a good reason for doing so. As most of you know, I am still in college and attending UNLV. These past few weeks I took every spare moment I had to study and prepare for my finals. I am happy to report I got 100% on both of my music finals, however I don’t know what I got on my English final portfolio-but I did get an “A” in the class.

Second, on the last rant “Food For Thought” I mentioned that the ten dollars I spent was the only money my wife gave me for my monthly allowance. OK, for all those who are too dense to have figured this out… that was a joke! Let me make one thing clear. My wife gives me all the money I want. In fact, I have so much money that I find myself reaching for fives and tens to blow my nose in rather than a tissue. Now I know what you are thinking…knights of Columbus, why for the love of everything holy do you use the fives and tens? I use fives and tens because the fibers in the twenties and hundreds are stiffer and harsher on the nose; so I use the fives and tens. And thus ends our house cleaning for the day.

Now, on with the rant!!!

PEOPLE WHO CAN’T DO THEIR JOB/HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT WHAT THEIR JOB ENTAILS, ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE. I like to call these people Idiots Rising; Idiots because they are, and rising because it seems that there are an ever increasing number of them.


As I stated previously, I am in school getting my undergraduate degree. Just in case anyone reading this has not gone to college, for every degree there are a few classes that everyone needs; we will call these the “general” courses or just “generals” for short. Now these generals are required for everyone to take and pass in order to get a degree. I have been pursuing this degree of mine for quite some time and had my generals out of the way a little while ago; or so I thought.

Let me take you back a few years ago to a scenario when I was seated in one of the counselor’s offices at CSN (formerly CCSN). We have our conversation about the direction that I want to go with my education and then she spells out what classes are needed as far as the generals are concerned. There was one section of the generals that I paid close attention to because I am not a fan of it… The US history section. Now don’t get me wrong…I can appreciate our countries history just as much as the next cornbread eating, barnyard raised, rebel flag waiving hillbilly, but two semesters of it is like death for me. So I try and knock that requirement out over time to spread out the pain. The counselor told me that I needed to take US history 101 and 102 or political science. And for those of you who don’t know what I think about politics, here is a crash course in Trevor’s political ideas. I have one thought about politicians…the sooner we realize that most of, if not all of them are corrupt and retarded, the sooner I can be crowned the undisputed king of the world.

OK we are getting off subject here… so she tells me this and I suffer through the classes and move on with life. Now she swore up and down that those two classes were all I needed to take, in order to satisfy the US constitutions requirement. ASSUMING she had a clue about what she was saying, I did not give the topic a second thought, and why should I? I paid the hundreds of dollars to sit in the classes, I sold a kidney to purchase the course books and I eventually I got my A’s.

Jumping forward a few years (and a few thousand dollars), my sweet wife decides that it would be a good idea to go see the counselor at UNLV, just to make sure that things are still on track. So I go, sit in the musty 12x12 closet they call a counselors office and wait the fifteen minutes that it apparently takes to fill out a pre-printed, fill in the blanks form of the classes I have and those I still need. Once again I am assured that all the generals are out of the way and all requirements have been met. So I get home and show my wife with a huge, and I am sure, stupid grin on my face that declared to the world “look at me, I’m a moron who’s just standing here holding a worthless piece of paper, but Hoover damn I feel special for doing so!”
There is one thing you must remember before moving on…we are now two college student counselors into declaring victory over these generals.

Once again jump ahead a few weeks to the day my wife gets online and looks up the DARS report. This is the report that you can get online at UNLV’s website that shows what generals/degree requirements have and have not been met. And would'nt you know…This thing said that the only generals class that I was not done with… was the constitutions requirement. It stated that I needed one US constitution and one Nevada history class to fulfill the requirement. WHAT THE???!@!!!! What, did the counselors forget this? Has there been some cataclysmic event that, all of the sudden the requirements have changed on the counselors and they have not been briefed on the new changes???? Two counselors! TWO FREAKING COUNSELORS!! Not one of them figured this little tid bit of information would be useful to me. Oh gosh... so the time that I spent in the chair with these two idiots posing as educators was all for not…how is it possible that they were unable to have foreseen this?? Is the DARS report some super secret squirrel stuff that only my wife has access to??

Ohh I was so mad!!! So now I am stuck having to take another class, and by the way…thank you because I have now paid for a class that is useless. I guess it not such a bad thing due to the fact that I blow my nose in money, right?

Why are the people that should be the most proficient and knowledgeable about any given topic usually the ones that are the most retarded; like riding the little yellow bus to school retarded? I swear that it seems like some people try their hardest to be incompetent, if only just to get out of doing their job. It’s almost like these people are running in a moronathon and the grand prize is free lunch and no work for a year. I find it hard to grasp the concept that these people have obviously mastered; the concept that working very hard to not do your job is easier than working moderately hard, and just doing your job. But what do I know right? I only live in a crazy little place called REALITY!!!

To all of those reading that happen to fall into the category of an idiot rising, do me a favor…stop wasting your bosses time and get back to work.

CiAO!

P.S.
Sorry Whit (my sister) for the “little bus comment”; like mom said when we were growing up...you are special! And everyone who meets you knows it a few seconds in to the conversation. ;-)