The Great BTEP Epidemic

There you are standing in a line at some store or business, when all of the sudden the person behind you starts talking to you. Now you have never seen, yet alone spoken to this person before and can’t figure out why they would be asking you a question. But before you’ve had a chance to turn around and answer them, they have moved on to another line of questioning and you realize they were not even talking to you.

This really did happen to me at the UNLV bookstore. Now, for a second I thought the girl behind me in line was just flirting with me, and I was positive she had taken some type of opiate based crazy pills- because all the nonsense she was spouting off. She asked “so what classes are you taking this semester?” And before I could answer her she said, “I have taken that class, the professor was really boring.” As I turned around I realized she was not even speaking to me because she had her head tilted to the right and was looking out with this blank gaze. I could also see that she was not holding a cell phone in either hand.

Needless to say I was perplexed. Was this chick just retarded? Was she speaking to some imaginary friend that the rest of us are not privileged enough to know? Was she even on this rock I like to call Earth? Perhaps she was lunch’n? (lunch’n is a term that I use to describe the state of a person who is high and/or just not there, you know…out to lunch.)

I finally noticed who she was talking to. As I said before, she had her head tilted and I could only see the left half of her face. Had I been able to see her right ear I would have known right away that she was not talking to anyone in the bookstore. See, she had a Blue Tooth earpiece (BTEP) in and was talking on her cell phone. For all of those reading this who don’t know what a Blue Tooth ear piece is, I have one thing to say to you…wake up and smell the technology, it’s the year 2008 and life is passing you by. Oh and by the way, Grandma and Grandpa Waite if you are reading this…don’t worry; you get a pass on this one. You no doubt have acquired more knowledge of things pertaining to life than I can ever hope to in two life times.

Allow me to break off on a tangent quickly….when I think about how growing old is viewed these days, I can’t help but think how arrogant and misguided we are as a society in our way of thinking. Growing old should not be viewed as a curse of nature or a cruel trick God plays on the beautiful. But rather, we should look at those growing old with a little envy and a healthy bit of jealousy. I say this because they have traveled the paths of life, gained tremendous amounts of life experience and have declared victory over all trials, calamities and circumstances that could end one’s life. Growing old can, and in my opinion, should be looked at as one of the greatest opportunities one we have in this life.

Ok, point made...moving on.

She was just standing there, talking on this earpiece that was blinking like a ticking time bomb. It’s almost as though this blinking light attempts to announce to all within a ten foot radius that the persons head will explode if they cease to talk at outrageous sound levels.

Why is it these people can’t tell by the angry stares and annoyed sighs from all those around them, that they are talking at mind numbing volumes? They apparently don’t know that they look like crazy people, just standing in various places yapping away to themselves. It’s kinda pathetic.

To all who use the BTEP (such a hideous device)…I understand that life is full of hard jobs and endless tasks to be undertaken. However, is your life soo difficult, and your day soo exhausting that you can’t spare the strength to actually pick up the 10 oz cell phone in your pocket and hold it to your ear while you commence the endless chatter with your friends? Oh and by the way…for the love of all things Mary Kay, if you insist on using that ear piece…TAKE THE THING OUT WHEN YOU ARE NOT USING IT!!! You have no idea how ridiculous you look with that thing just sitting on the side of your head.

To all those who do not use the BTEP…thank the manufacturer that there are still people of sound mind out there; People who have the forethought and intellect to refrain from an activity that could bring Mother Teresa to fisticuffs-that’s fighting for the late person.

In closing…the BTEP has become somewhat of an epidemic. And while we may not be able to do much about those who have already caught this debilitating parasite, we can do something to stop them from spreading the disease to future generations. So please…HELP CONTROL THE BTEP POPULATION, HAVE YOUR BTEP WEARING FRIENDS SPAYED OR NUTERED!!!

CiAo!